am deciding which counter top water filter to use. 2 brands come in mind. elken bio-pure or panasonic alkaline ioniser.

can someone enlighten me please?

Went prospecting today. GT stayed over since it was too late to go back when the movie ended. as usual, GT rambled on and on about her love life, and i forced myself to listen to her, keeping my eyes open although it was already 1.30 a.m. then, i couldnt tahan anymore, and bid good night to her. gosh, her love life is so interesting...all men want to go to bed with her!

woke up at 6.30 a.m. to wake her up for church. was sleep walking when i accompanied her to the car. came back, slept till 10 a.m. was tired. was afraid that i couldnt go prospecting. forced myself to be mentally prepared. gosh, what did i put myself into? no discipline!

met chew. had quite a productive outing. am confident that he will eventually consume the products. felt good about myself:)

came home, watched Australian Open. was hoping to catch FedEx. He is good! then, went out again to Christina's place at Palm Spring. thank God i didnt end up buying that place or stay there. congested, out of the way and too small. i still prefer my loft:)

as i drove out, i noticed Cita Bay. gosh, we came here before, wondering whether to get a unit here. again, my heart bled. why is it that everything i do must remind me of her? why? so depressed again. wanted to speak to R. went to BF, but her car wasnt there.

decided to rush back, change and headed for Lake Gardens for my evening walk. the walk was good.

well, i would say had quite a productive day.

organised a surprise birthday din for MK. felt so alone during the dinner.

managed to get hold of R from BF. it was nice talking to her. it's like talking to an old friend.

today, i'm back to my old self. feel so depressed. nothing can cheer me up la. very upset. i also feel that i lost a good friend, MY who just got married.

I guess this has been the worst Christmas for me. Wanted to be MIA so I went home when my folks were here. Didn't have any meals with my brother. Told him that I wanted solitary.

When I got back to KL, I met up with MK. She said that I'm terrible to do such things.

Well, it has come to a point that I shouldnt really bother with people's views. As long as I am happy.

I have been MIA for the past few days. no calls, no msgs. no sound or noise. so my good pal, MK who text me almost daily, started to call me when I didn’t reply. MK felt that something was amiss, so MK contacted MY. MY who is busy preparing for her wedding, called me out of the blue. of course, I know that MK contacted MY. I hadn’t been from MY for wks since she is so busy.

I kept on telling MK that I’m ok. just need to sort of things. MK didn’t believe. called my brother. Brother, out of the blue, asked me how am I doing?

finally, I summed up all the courage to meet up with MK to show to her in person that I am ok. could feel that during the drink, she was trying to control her anger because I went MIA and worried her. well I don’t blame her for worrying but I feel that her worries are excessive. she doesn’t have faith in me. I know that our friendship has blossomed extensively for the past year and we are more than friends – like sisters. but I needed time out…MK called me on average 3 times a day, texted me in the morning and night for four days…I had no peace for 4 days…

I really want time out to sort out things especially family matters and career. I cant think when the phone keeps on ringing!?!

I’m still thinking whether to attend the Christmas Dinner this Sunday…I have purchased the ticket but I don’t feel sociable. I am not into entertaining at the moment. MK has been asking me what am I wearing, MY asked whether I have got the tickets, GT expects me to be there…well, I’m going to MIA again.

I was actually dreading this day. The day that I went back to CS to collect my things. Ever since I was on MC and I handed in my resignation, I didn’t step inside CS. It was just too painful to be there, and be flooded with painful memories.

but I know that this has to be done sooner or later. I went to see the HR, where my library books are still there. so there I was, returned my library books and spent a few minutes with the HR. what a waste that the HR manager was not there. so I just left a note for her. it seemed that the management was having meeting.

I knew that I had to bid my former students farewell. I wanted them to remember me as a lecturer who really cared for them. so I spoke to Joey, the lecturer assigned to take over my class that I would like to have a few words with the students. Told them that I was leaving and I left them my email add. Then I went out and ask Joey how are things. Before long, most of the students came out and ask me about my foot and how to go about it. that touched my heart. then I walked down the stairs, and one of the students came running after me. he gave me the plaster for muscle ache. that really brightened my day. I guess I managed to establish good rapport with them. I really wish that they find job soon.

it really made me feel good.

I hadn’t been wanting to be in touch with anyone. I hadn’t been picking up calls or replying smses except for family. I really want to be out of touch and sort things out. very very muddled up.

i am currently on a different medication. so last time, i couldnt sleep, and now i need more sleep. so when is this going to end? it is either too little or too much. and now i'm low on reserves. keep on thinking about it. so worried sick abt it. and i feel so numb. cant focus. cant concentrate on what people are telling me.